ffs

    Ya know i have been doing alot of thinking about wtf i have done with my life..fuk wasted so many day in jail and missed so much  of my freedom and so much of my kids lives there is nothing in this world that makes me wanna be a better person more than my children. i just havnt figured out the person i am destined to be or if there really is a destiny or if i am suppose to make my own. know i have failed many times trying to do things they easy way. andi have come to a reality..there is no easy way ..if it was easy it wouldnt be worth it.it took awhile for me to realize that , y i dont have an answere to but i can say it took me awhile...

     I dont wanna be one of the 30 year old women in the next 4 years with nothing under me ,,i want a foundation and i want a free life, a life that includes my children  plus a life that i can provided for my children and be comfortable with how i live. stability is what i need and it is what i crave.

    I know i have the ability to do what needs to be done..eduaction ,mabey a few life skills studies, and a focus. there is nothing in life that is free , except mabey our minds and souls but if all we want in our lives is to take the easy road out ..then excpet the road to be  weak and rocky with lots of craders to fall into.

 You cant justify you actions by sayings ..but i thought i deserved it...believe me..i thought the same way and look where it got me. all i wanted was a break from life " the easy way out" and all i got was stuck in the rut of road i took. how ever ..even with the consequences ahead of me and realizing every day they are getting cloer and closer i have to come to a term and except the reality i am in and DEAL WITH IT..it is what it is and i have created it myself! booooooo at me.but i am hoping i can make it so i turn everything around and make my future a life that i have craved , with determination and skill. im far from a stupid person so i know it is possible! 

    For the others out there that can realted to me state of mind..i hope u find it with in ur self to get the strength that you need to be the person and have the life that u want!..i knwo ill be spending the next 5 years makin my life what i need it to be!

 xoxoxo

\TiFfAnY LyNn